06
Nov
06

The KitNotes guide to Workplace gobbledegook

The BBC have a report about how workplaces phases are baffling workers. I’m sure that’s not true; they must baffle everyone else as well, but as usual, it’s workers who pick up the slack when they can’t understand.

They helpfully proved an explaination for some of the phases, but I don’t think they are the true ones;

Blue-sky thinking: “We’re going to come up with some utter bollocks, call it visionary, and get paid, SUCKAS!”
Get our ducks in a row: Here comes hotdesking!
Brain dump: “I’m not sure all of this is true, but because I give it a name which resembles the thing you do on the toilet, I’m going to sound authorative. Even though what I’m coming out with also resembles that thing you do on the toilet.”
Think outside the box: “More work, same pay”
Joined-up thinking: ditto
Drilling down: “You’re in deep doo-doo if you don’t know this”
Push the envelope: See “Blue Sky Thinking” 
The helicopter view: “I should be back in nursery”
Low-hanging fruit: “That’s what I’m aiming for, be a good monkey and get the more difficult fruit”

Don’t say that I don’t look out for you, KitNoters.


1 Response to “The KitNotes guide to Workplace gobbledegook”


  1. 1 belledame222 December 7, 2006 at 3:00 am

    “Low-hanging fruit??”

    all that makes me think of is, “oh, so you -would- like me to kick you in the ‘nads? OKAY!”

    wonder if Scott Adams ever ran across that one. ’spect it’s more of a UK-ism. who the fuck knows. Orwell would be grimly amused.

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socialist, revolutionary socialist at that, feminist, anti-racist, LGBT allied, Trotskyist, Labour, pro-union, rank & file, green, but red at the same time, in solidarity with Iranian and Iraqi workers and women, supportive of all workers in struggle, against Blairism, against imperialism, against Islamism, for a two state solution to the Israel/Palestine conflict, for troops out of Iraq now, for a strong third camp opposed to both the occupation and the 'resistance' in Iraq, against privatisation, for public ownership of all industry under workers' control, so that means hands off the NHS Blair, against Brownism too because he's just a dodgy a geezer as that Blair bloke...

Kit is...

- 22 years old
- originally from Salford
- currently living in Surrey
- a human resources officer in local government
- currently single
- a former Media Studies student
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