OK KitNoters, I suppose you’re ready for my report back from the launch conference of the Socialist Youth Network. You are jostling around in your seat, uncontrollably excited at the stories of who said what, who threw a chair at who, were Communist Students really banned and how many people were denounced as imperialists. Are you ready?
“We’re always ready, Kit!”
That’s my KitNoters. I’m so proud of you. I have trained you well.
But, for a hardened lefty trainspotter/sectarian (delete as per your political perspective/whether or not you like me), the SYN conference was a bit of a disappointment. Because, for a left wing event, everyone was relatively calm, civil and we actually managed to finish on time.
Like I say, a huge disappointment.
The motions which were brought forth to the conference of mighty beings (well, young lefties anyway) and the list of National Executive Committee members (I always thought that ‘NEC’ is a bit of a crap acronym because it makes me think of the electronics company) have been uploaded by yours truly and are there for all to see, in their bureauctatic nakedness. Look at them. Marvel at them. Then kick yourself, repeatidly (steel toe caps are optional) for not being at the conference and not being a SYN member. Then spend five of your English Pounds to join (so long as [a] you’re actually young, i.e. under 30 and [b] you’re either a member of the Labour Party or none at all). And then get your arse in gear.
Needless to say, my accendency to the position of Disabilities Officer was unchallenged; my mere late candidacy being enough to see off any pretenders to the crown. I mean, they might as well have brought a throne in and coronated me. Right there, on the platform. I know it may seem a bit extravagant, but it’s no less than I deserve. Right?
Important people were also there, too. Unfortunatly, because of a cruel fate not looking down upon me with a smile, I was late, so I missed John McDonnell’s opening speech. It’s amazing; I’m involved in his campaign, built SYN etc but I’ve never actually heard the guy speak. Though I did manage to hear Tony Benn speak just before lunch. As much as I respect Benn, who is the exception to the rule that people get more right wing as they get older, the guy needs to get a new script. The quip that he “got out of parliament to spend more time in politics” is smile-breaking when you first hear it, but after a while, you just think “Yeah, yeah, Tony, whatever.” Another Bennism - that “there are too many socialist parties but not enough socialists in the Labour Party” is actually true, but that’s because [a] some people like the thill of the split (it’s sort of like S&M for socialists), and [b] most of ‘em got banned, so even if they did try to join, they’d just get their forms back with “HAHAHAHAHA” written all over them in biro. Still, Benn seems to have this grandfather-esque quality about him. If the Labour left were an advert for Worthers’ Original, then he would be the kind, smiling grandad who gives the sweets to his grandson (that’s us, by the way).
Katy Clark MP also made a speech about the process in Latin America and how socialists should support it. I’d like to think that, because I’m so important on the left and that whatever I say has an earth-shattering effect, she was directing her Chavisimo directly at me (due to the massive barney I caused on the SYN email list and thus getting an earful from Socialist Appeal and Socialist Action about how I am a ‘counter-revolutionary’ and ‘left cover for imperialism’ - pah, you’re going to have to do better than that comrades) but perhaps I’m over-inflating my ego again.
I won’t go on and on, because other people - noticably Mike, Marsha and Jon have also written reports on the day and it saves me the effort of typing it out, trying to remember even a quarter of it, and being serious about it.
Afterwards, I got drunk in ULU, and then went for a curry with Communist Students. After that, it was all a bit of a blur.
And you still find time to honour us with your company at the piss up on saturday
Good post comrade!
Actually, it’s very easy for banned ex-members to get back into the Labour Party. I’m told this is because they’ve privatised the membership register! (it has a ghastly ring of truth to it…
Mike
It still has to go through the membership secretary . Depends on whether they know the person I suppose.
Kit - meant to say this earlier but there’s a distinct sexist tone to commenting on katy’s dress sense - would u have commented on tony benn or john mcdonnells dress sense - how comes with women its always down to the way women look?
Many of the blokes in attendance could have done with a bath and washing their clothes - but no one sees fit to comment on them
MarshaJane
Good point. Dress sense and leftie men don’t always go together
Cheers stroppy
See u tomora me and the rogers wil be getting there about 7 30 don’t no if berry’s coming will find out!
To be fair, I did actually compare Tony Benn’s dress sense (on the day) to that of AWL leading light Sean Matgamna (ask Owen or Sacha). I’d forgotten about that.
I wasn’t intending to be sexist, though, and I take your point, so I’ve edited it.
And the only reason why I didn’t comment on the blokes is that I thought you did in your blog, which I pointed out was a far better report than this one, which is very firmly tounge in cheek… well, it was meant to be, anyway…
Never mind badly dressed men, what about the absence of any fit men? What is about the left and being aesthetically challenged?
You can’t talk about being badly dressed, Owen, that white lefty T-shirt-over-grey-long-sleeved-top-you-obviously-bought-from-Tesco look ain’t a good one, comrade. C’mon, I know you’re from Stockport and everything, but that ain’t no excuse.
I thought I looked quite dapper on the day, actually.
As for fit lefty men… well China Mieville is just sex on legs, but a) he’s married to a woman, b) he’s a Science Fiction writer, so you might have to avoid looking disgusted and slightly scared when he shows you his Warhammer collection, and c) he’s SWP. In fact, most of the good looking lefty blokes I know are in the SWP. Gutting. I can’t seem to think of any good looking men at SYN conference, actually.
Apart from me, natch.
It was from H&M I have you know! Get it right. And I won’t have anyone dissing the John4Leader t-shirt I designed on Microsoft Paint. By the standards of most Stockport lads I was looking pretty dapper. All relative though innit?
I’ll try not take offence at the last bit. However, SWP is definitely where the hot blokes are. Maybe I’ll go get myself a state-capper.
I’ve just done a google image search on China Mieville by the way and am going to have to call your judgement into question. You need to get your eyes tested, laddo!
As for the fact he’s married - “turn ‘em and burn ‘em”, as a good friend once suggested to me.
Look what you started Marsha
Kit, you can discuss dress sense with Osler later today…he is very vain
Ha I always get the blame - c y’all tonight comrades
Marsha
I will report back on stroppy as to who was the best dressed, or ‘fittest’, lefty male blogger…or perhaps not
Actually I am lead to believe it will be the suave Jim D
Hello comrades!
Though I’m not making any claims for my looks, I’d like to point out that some socialist blokes do regularly cut and wash our hair, wash our clothes etc!!
Sacha
PS See here for another report on SYN conference http://www.workersliberty.org/node/7570
some things don’t change with the years. When I was in the LPYS (Labour Party Young Socialists) a common source of light relief amid the revolutionary chit-chat was the lack of “fit” men on the left (tho’ we wouldn’t have used that word, then)
Even to the extent that the SWP had the best lookers! IMG were weirdy beardies and Militant were pretty rubbish clothes and looks-wise which is probably how Derek Hatton made it to the top……he certainly was a snappy dresser.Hope the SYN bears betterfruit!